I have only 10 mins to write this email so bear with me as I try to dump truck all of my thoughts to you.
This week was more on the lacking side. We had a lot of failed appointments, and mis-communication (between our Mission leaders aka Elders;)) happen. As I was mentally trying to write out this email during the week it was looking like a not to sunshiny email. because in all honesty sometimes life isn't full of sunshine. There was a day that we were home and it was to late to go out so Sis. Prince read to me from a book called, "Believing Christ" while I was making dinner. There were two quotes that really stuck out to me.
"Unfortunately, there are many members of the church who simply do not believe this. Though they claim to have testimonies of Christ, and of his gospel, they reject the witness of the scriptures and of the prophets about the good news of Christ's atonement. Often these people naively hold on to mutually contradictory propositions without even realizing the nature of the contradiction. For example, they may believe that the church is true, that Jesus is the Christ, and that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, while at the same time refusing to accept the possibility of their own complete forgiveness and eventually exaltation in the Kingdom of God. They believe IN Christ, but they do not believe Christ. He says, "Though their sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. I can make you pure and worthy and celestial," and they answer back, "no, you can't. the gospel only works for other people; it won't work for me." Yet, the "good news" of the gospel is good news to me not because it promises that other people who are better than I am can be saved, but because it promises that I can be saved--wretched, inadequate, and imperfect me. And until I accept that possibility, until I BELIEVE Christ when he says he can bring into his kingdom and set me on a throne, I have not really accepted the good news of the gospel--I have only accepted the messenger while rejecting his wonderful message.
If we believe only IN Christ without BELIEVING Christ, then we are like people sitting in cold, dark houses surrounded by unused lamps and heaters, people who believe in electricity but who never throw the switch to turn on the power. People like this often pretend to themselves and to others that merely believing in electricity makes them warm and gives them light, but they still shiver in the dark unless they turn on the power. Though the appliances may all work and the wiring may be in good order, until we accept the power itself, beyond merely believing in the theory of power, we cannot enjoy the warmth and the light. This is why genuine faith in Christ-- active acceptance of his power and not just passive belief in his identity-- is and must be the very first principle of the gospel. No matter how much of the gospel one learns or even believes as a theory, until we accept the reality of our own salvation, we have not yet turn on the power."
I think a lot of times we get into these funks of thinking that I believe in Christ but my case, my life is different. I am the exception to the rule and I have gone to far to be saved. I can't ever have full happiness or full joy. partial sure. but not full.
We had an appointment this week with a Sister who is not baptized, though she once was only a week away from it. We were talking with her and she was telling us that she felt like she can't ever change because she has never changed. I could relate so closely to this Sister. How quickly do we think that there is no hope for us. That life is too hard and we simply are not strong enough. Those are lies. When we believe such thoughts we are actively rejecting Christ. We are saying through our actions that we think He is not all powerful, that He is a liar. Because we are rejecting His words that he tells us that through Him we are saved.
We fixate on our trials and our troubles with a cloud of despair and not a view of hope. We do not see the difficulties in life as Alma explained, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your atrust in God even so much ye shall be bdelivered out of your trials, and your ctroubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
or in another way, we do not see our stumbling blocks as hurdles that are going to condition us into better athletes. There is a document entitled the fourth missionary, and it explains it like this.
"Every challenge you face, every hard thing you confront, every bad thing that happens to you,
every unfairness, every conflict, every sadness, tragedy, every disappointment and heartache, every
temptation and every opposition happens for one purpose only: to give you opportunity to respond by
applying in your life the teachings of Jesus. As you do so you are changed to become more like Him."
This Sister that we were working with was moved. She felt the spirit and decided to give Christ and God a second wave of trust. She decided to give herself a second look, another try. She trusted in Heavenly Father with enough faith to say that she was willing to trust Him enough to forgive herself. We set a date with her to be baptized on December 7th. A clean start, a fresh beginning.
I know that there is so much struggle in the world. I hear from so many hear in Germany and those from home that life is a constant struggle. I can only leave my witness to you that I know that Christ was our Savior. Not only did He walk the earth performing miracles but that He is shaping miracles out of each of us. There is no low that we can reach that is lower than what the savior can lift us from.
I love you all so much. I pray that you find comfort and peace in your life. That is my sole and my soul prayer.
With deep love, Sis. Wadsworth
Mosiah 14
1 Yea, even doth not Isaiah say: Who hath abelieved our report, and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?
2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground; he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He is adespised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he has aborne our bgriefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But he was awounded for our btransgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are chealed.
6 All we, like asheep, have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquities of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he aopened not his mouth; he is brought as a blamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb so he opened not his mouth.
8 He was taken from prison and from judgment; and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living; for the transgressions of my people was he stricken.
9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the arich in his death; because he had done no bevil, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it pleased the Lord to abruise him; he hath put him to grief; when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin he shall see his bseed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 He shall see the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied; by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shallabear their iniquities.
12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the agreat, and bheshall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death; and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bore the sins of many, and made cintercession for the transgressors.
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