Mein Abenteuer in Deutschland!: Quiet And Not Quite Quiet Voices (sent 10/6/13)

Guten Morgen Y'all!

So my subject line was inspired but the one and Only Sis. Prince. Since day one of our union I have always noticed how special she was. There is no other quite like Sis. Prince. She has this quiet strength that is fortifying. And is a great example of a balanced mission life. There is so much asked of us and placed on us on top of our own life concerns that it is not about achieving everything 100%. We have to rely on Christ's grace for that. No, Mission life is really just trying to stay balanced and at acceptable levels of accomplishment on all of these demands.

But life is hard as a missionary. And it gets to you day after day. and her "older" spirit is breaking down a little. In my observations of her uniqueness and specialness since day one is her voice in the night being not so quiet. I remember my first night be woken up to German baptism commitments and to the Restoration lesson in a language I didn't understand. Because I didn't understand it it was easy to ignore, and actually had a lulling effect on my sleep. However, after serving 5 weeks in an english area has switched her brains over to my mother language. And let me tell you weirdness comes out of that girl. One night she was talking to the night air and confessed she no longer wanted to be a donkey. Last night, I couldn't get to sleep and so was doing the logical thing of making lists and lists of all the thoughts running in my head. Sis. Prince turns to me in her comatose state and sheds her wisdom on me, "Ya can't win them all!" ... Snore. Her wisdom amazes me.

This Tuesday we had Zone Conference. It was so amazing. The week before we had met with our Elders to set new goals for the end of the year. Our goals that we set will push us, and can seem un-achievable. So We decided to fast for the faith needed to accomplish these goals that we felt were inspired. In made Zone Conference (Which is basically a mini General conference with the mission president) very acutely an answer to our fast. It was so great to hear the quiet voice of the spirit telling me the things I needed to focus on and apply. But I was also getting my answers to the person concerns unrelated to missionary work I was having. It was such a great experience. One of the suggestions made was to make "action points" to all the goals and visions you have for yourself. these "action points" are the small steps that can be taken to make eating the elephant easier.

We had to stay over in Frankfurt from tuesday to wednesday so that I could apply for my visa. On the train ride to Frankfurt it was rush hour and there were no spots for all four of us to sit anywhere so we were in the boarding area next to the bathrooms, sitting on the floor eating our burritos after we broke our fast. We looked like a bunch of nicely dressed hobos on the floor of the train attacking our food as if it was our first in a month. We got quite the looks as people stepped over our feet when they were boarding.

I decided the night before that I would organize a volleyball rebellion to be played as a giant morgan sport with the other missionaries in the area. It was a total fail. The elders that were suppose to be there to set up came late and then we couldn't find a volleyball so it turned in to an intense game of volleyball in which I quickly stepped out of due to my dislike of contact sports.

But the rest of the day was enough of a work out for me. haha. well really for the Elders. We had my small carryon for our overnight bag. and due to lack of planning and communication had to tote it around back and forth from the visa office and the mission office like 4 times. So the Elders being their gentlemen selfs took "ownership" of our luggage for the entire day. Everything for the visas went smoothly.

On the way back to K-town there was a sister in Landstuhl (about 15-20 mins further) that the Elders asked us to come visit with them. Well we still had that blasted suitcase with us. The sister we originally went to go see wasn't home so instead we decided to go visit another sister in our ward. Well the Elders had a "shortcut" to take to get up the to the Mormon pocket in the city. What we did not know was that it was a full blown hike! yeah my poor flats didn't know it was in their job description to hike the sides of mountains. But the view of the whole scene was priceless. You have the two elders taking the lead in the forest with Elder Allen toting around in his suit our luggage. PRICELESS

We visited with the sister who was just a sweet heart. But then we left in that awkward time between trains where you could book it and maybe make the train or you can walk like a normal human being and have forever to wait at the station because you just bearly missed your train. So Sis. Prince decided for us right after we finished hiking down the mountain in the dark, in Flats, she takes off running to the train station. I, being bound to her side am obligated to run to keep up. So here we are. let me paint this picture for you. Sis. Prince in her riding boots is full on running clicking with everystep and about a block behind here are two guys in suits one carrying that suitcase, yet again. and me who has to do a weird toe curling run in order to keep my shoes on. We run like that for about a quarter of a mile, before i lost it. I took off my shoes and booked it barefoot, for the other halfmile. But by golly we made our train. 6 minutes early T_T.

But it was all good. A great story to have for the mission reunion.

We spent a lot of time with the elders on this little adventure of ours. I was impressed by their example of contacting. At ZoKo we had talked about all these goals, and then we heard the inspiring message that rials the soul, but here these Elders were putting it into action. It was such a neat sight to see a missionary at work. Elder Jackson was closer in my view and I watched how he just instantly befriended all these people on the train. and just testified of the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ both by word and by his spirit he carried doing what he had been commissioned to do. I think that all to often we (myself especially) hear all the instruction either by the prophet and apostles directly like in General Conference, or we hear the small voice of the Spirit telling us that which we very specifically need to do and yet we wait to act, we wait to see another get up and do first so that we can follow. Or we do the "all diets begin on monday" excuse and wait for a specific event before we start to change. Why? Fear and Misunderstanding. Fear of several things, of failure, but often of success. Misunderstanding of what? of the atonement, every hour you continue in your bad habits knowing both that you should change them and how to change them is another hour that the Savior had to endure in Gethsemane. If we truly understood the atonement we would understand that we never have need to wait for the perfect situation to "start" our change. We can change in the very second that we choose to change, in the very instance that the spirit prompts us to.

On Friday, The German Elders had a street display that we went and helped with. There was a table with books of mormon in every language. and then we were passing out balloons to the kinder that said "Ich bin ein Kind Gottes" and mormon.org. Then we drew chalk pictures and wrote out scriptures. It was so intimidating at first. I was only willing to pass out the balloons the always accepting children. But I just built up that couage to go out and talk to people in a language I dont know. But I did through seeing the fearless Elder Brown and Elder Jackson and Sis. Prince and Sis. Wilson just keep going, to just keep going even after a gentle turn down or an angery turn down, and they were just so cheery about it to, and encourageing to me to go out and try. I finally was getting life down toward the end of the street display and was all rockstar. The last person we talked to before we had to jet to the church for a meeting was Johannes, a boy around 17. I had to call Sis. Prince over because I didn't know how to say much but, we gave him a Book of Mormon and gave an overview of it. He looked at us as if we had been holding this gold of information from him for his whole life. We got his contact information and gave it to the German elders. But I still pray for him. That he will too find courage to act.

On Saturday we went to Yvonne's baptism (she was the german Lady I met with on the split, but in the previous email i butchered the spelling of her name) It was the first baptism I have attended in such a long time. I am thinking since before I went to school so over a year ago. Having talked with her on the train and having her help me read from the book of Mormon in German really made a special connection for me with her. I instantly had this compassion for her (not in a look down way but in an unconditional love way) It was as though I saw her with a more clear veiw of how God and Christ sees us. When she rose out of that font she had the glow of a happy child. She smiled the purest smile one could have. While the baptism meeting was less than conventional, the spirit was consistent, and it was with her.

Later that day we went to the Nelson's House for General Conference. It was such a sweet experience to be in a home with my "family" of Sis. Prince, Elders Jackson and Allen and The Nelsons with their two little kids. It truly was a tender mercy of the Lord.

There was a talk on meekness. Bro. Nelson asked what the word for meekness was in german. "Sanftmut- sanft meaning soft and mut meaning courage. Sanftmut, soft courage" Demut means Humility. Mut means courage. I love the poetic notion of those words. To be humble takes courage, to be meek to others is not a weakness but a soft courage. and we gain courage from Christ when we are humble and meek.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what my own personal goals would be for my mission. What do I want to say I accomplished on my mission when I am on that long flight back home? I came to the conclusion that my vision would be to come closer to Christ, through understanding His gospel of faith, repentance, covenants and the guiding Holy Ghost. Not just a passive understanding but one that has led me to action. An understanding that Leads my life. not just my mission but my whole life. I want to be released from my full-time mission into a calling of a life-time mission.

I have discovered that through the loud voices and noises in the world is God's quite quiet voice, that we can make loudly shown in our lives as we live them. God listens to our concerns and answers and addresses them but wants actions to be made on these promptings. Our action is not done for the sake of God, but for our growth, our faith, our conversion.

I love this gospel, for the constant guide it gives me. For the examples of others living in the light of Christ day by day, Schritt fur Schritt.

Love,
Sis Wadsworth