Another big news.... drum roll... I will be staying in K-town! I am pretty stoked about being able to stay in my American area for the holidays. Something tells me that will make the time easier. There is so much love here. Sad news is that we are losing BOTH Elders! Sis. Prince and I are skeptical that any other Elders will be able to live up to the awesomness of Elder Jackson and Elder Allen, but I guess only time will be able to tell.
here are some thoughts and insights I have had this week. They are going to be super jumbled and rando but they weren't written originally to be sent out to the masses. aber naja.. =D
* Heavenly Father wants me to still become a better follower than I already am. I think slowly Heavenly Father has helped me to be eliminating my pride. I
never realized how prideful I actually was before, but now I am getting much more humble and patient. So I guess that's a good thing."This is perfectly stated for me. I have been having a serious humbling moment in my life. It has been so hard to express what I am even going through because like you said I don't even realize how much humbling I had to do.. It has been the most emotional and spiritually straining thing I've ever done, and therefore very physically exhausting. Sis. Prince and I had a good talk last night about our whole situation in our ward and with our companionship. It is never an easy topic, change. Yet, every lesson we teach is about it. I don't know where I am going with this thought, but Thank you Laura for being honest and sharing your feelings. It makes me feel better like I am not alone in the world, here in Germany.
*get a complex when writing emails, for me it is one of the harder tasks of the week. There is a delicate balance between just getting out the events that happened in our ridiculously packed week, and then saying what I personally am going through, and the spiritual strength that I have found. All that with the time crunch and the many personal emails we want to write back to too. So Thank you for letting me know that all the conflict in my soul is helping someone, or at least someone enjoys reading them haha.
How is Michael doing? I can't even remember how long he has left of his mission? My companion is "dying" (that what they call it on our mission when missionaries are going home soon) and It is an emotional roller coaster. When I listen to her and try to just give her some comfort I just think about a verse in second Nephi chapter 3 when Lehi is counseling Joseph. " And now I speak unto you, Joseph, my last-born. Thou wast born in the wilderness of mine afflictions; yea, in the days of my greatest sorrow did thy mother bear thee." I read this and I had to stop. Woah This is Lehi who went through murder threats when he was preaching to the wicked in Jerusalem, who had a very long life of choosing God over what the people in his time where choosing. This man was not new to sorrow and afflictions but here he was at a very ripe old age only a few chapters away from death saying that his last born was during a time in his life that was the very greatest. umm thats encouraging.. Life just gets progressively harder until you die.
This morning we met with an investigator who has had struggles with the WoW. Which was the very lesson that we were teaching her. We closed with the scripture 1 Corinthians 10:13 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."
Lehi I am sure was not pouting that his life never got easier. but was rejoicing at his progress that he now had the worst times that he had ever gone through which would mean that he himself was the at the strongest point he has ever been at his life, and that he had a life time, his life time, of examples where the Lord has strengthened him to over come all.
It is a hard concept to swallow and understand but is one that we can draw so much strength from. Being on a mission is like reading the brief introduction to how life will be. It is daunting and scary. But full of so much hope and grace. The hard times are just the sweet moments of God's mercy in hiding.
* I always thought I knew what prayer was all about before I left on my mission. But since I left America a short 3 months ago, my testimony of the power of prayer has grown beyond what I thought possible. When I really think about it though it makes complete since why prayer can be so powerful. We are praying to God, who is our loving Heavenly
Father. Any loving father will of course help his children out in everything that they will let him help out with. There is no doubt in my mind that He hears my prayers. Missions are sometimes really hard to mentally handle. They are so emotionally draining and demanding. You are there to spiritually lift everyone in the ward and sometimes if feels like people are drawing from your empty well. All this while I am still fighting my own battles. Before I "got it" I tried doing all this on my own, with my own strength. Let me tell you I failed something horrible. I was broken, that when I really turned to the Lord and told him that I was now willing to rely solely on Your strength and not my own. That Bonnie, was the difference that needed to be made. One of my favorite scriptures is in the Book of Mormon, in the book of Mosiah Chapter 7 verse 33: "But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of hear, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this , he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." I just want you to know that you are never alone no matter how large or small the trials that we go through, We are never ever alone.
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